Running with Macha, or That one time, at Beltaine...

I have been reading up on Pagan pregnancy and parenting, and found myself snorting at people who said things like "I had a vision of a Himalayan spirit, so we went to the Himalayas to conceive our baby." (Something along those lines...)  I was laughing at the sunshine and moonbeams of it all, until I realized- MY baby is a Merry-begot.  (Although I know who his father is.)  Conceived on Beltane, due by Imbolc.  I'm THAT witch.  The one that I would totally make fun of, the one who you just know would be a judgemental pagan.  I'm the one with the smug "the Goddess helped me conceive" story- The Morrigan got me knocked up.  Yes, I'm serious.  The Mr. and I have wanted a baby for some time, but it just wasn't happening.  We were worried that we just couldn't, even though nothing was medically wrong with either of us.  (Well, nothing that would inhibit conception.)  And then I asked HER for help.

Before this, we had resorted to wrapping eggs in underwear under our bed (in a box covered with cherubs and red ribbon, no less!), using ovulation predictors, and "trying" as much as possible.  No baby.  A good friend made us a fertility poppet (shout out, but I don't wanna use your name to get people to read my blog!) and I realized hey, Beltane is near...so we decided to petition The Morrigan on that day, then relax and let the magic flow. Just as I leave my hair unbound in circle, or when I'm working a spell, I was going to unbind my mind and stop worrying about the whens and ifs of conception, and try to trust that it would happen when it was time.

Can I tell you- Holy Crap, She works fast.

What did I do, you ask?
First, I smeared some of my "sacred bajingo juice" (TM some crazy dude in a blogs comments section) on the poppet and kept it under my pillow.  The Mr. did the same for his matching rune pillow, but kept it in his wallet.  (Which is always in his pocket, conveniently close to the baby making organs.)
Next, I whipped up an herbal blend and sprinkled some under my sheets and used the rest as an incense during my ritual.  I also started sipping raspberry leaf tea and red clover tea.  (red clover was also in the herbal blend- good for fertility AND The Morrigan!)
On Beltane night, I did a (quick) little invocation to The Morrigan, asking that she bless me with a child.  I used a small taper candle and meditated on it until the candle went out, which doesn't take all that long.  This is when I heard the hooves.  As soon as I heard the sound of galloping, I knew that Macha (the Mother aspect of The Morrigan, in my belief) was listening.  I didn't know what Her answer would be, but She let me know She had heard me...so I went on to the second (and fun!) part of the ritual...I don't really have to elaborate here, do I?  ; )

All of this being done, we finally relaxed.  We didn't even try after that, due to a mix of being sick, work stress, and trusting that when it was time, we would know.

Cut to one month later, June 1st.  I had been having flu-like symptoms, and PMS that lasted for two weeks. I took a test, and BAM! Two pink lines.  Not believing my eyes, I took another.  And another.  I ended up taking seven.  All positive.  I was shocked- the only time possible for conception would have been Beltane.
Again, I heard the hooves, and I knew.  I was officially running with Macha.
Now, I am a little over six months along, and I know She is with me.  I give thanks to Her every day, and will make sure my son knows that he is Kellan Robert NicMacha S.

So yeah, I'm now THAT witch, the smug pagan with the story...and I wouldn't trade that story for anything, because as I feel my little rainbow trout kick in my belly, I feel the hand of my Lady on my shoulder.  At Her side are others- the Ladies that have been gathering around me for almost a year- Cerridwyn, Brigid, and...Freya.  (The Freya thing should have been a clue, right?  Celtic pantheon girl, suddenly joined by Freya...hmmm...)  Cernunnos dances circles around them.  Behind them stand my ancestors and guides.  To the side, and a little above, I'm starting to notice little flickers.  My son's guardians and guides, perhaps?

Mechanical voices in my mind...or not?

Yesterday, as I was lolling about in bed (pregnancy makes me lazy) I clearly heard a mechanical sounding male voice say "Hello Kristen."  I've heard voices before, that part is nothing new...the odd part is that when I returned the greeting, there was no further communication.

Let me clarify- I'm fairly clairaudient, but the voices come through like normal voices, not so much digitized.  This time, it sounded as if the voice was distorted by an electronic medium, not necessarily a computerized version of "speech."  As in, my voice was said "Kris-ten."

So I start to wonder.  Usually, I hear women's voices.  My grandmother, ancestors, my Patrons, etc.  Never really a male voice.  And never one that did not respond to further communication.  I know that I have male guides, like my gatekeeper, but he doesn't connect through spoken word so much as mental image.  His purpose, generally, is to filter what I receive...and what I am allowed to connect to at any given time.  (If I am not in a proper mental and spiritual state, good luck trying to get me to the astral!)

SO- where does one go for answers?  The Internet, of course!  Which turned out to be...less than helpful.  Most sites claim that I must have been abducted by aliens.  They advise to check my memory for lost time.  Other sites go with the fairly popular scientific theory that it was simply the last stirrings of a dream.  Which would be a viable option, as I WAS in my bed, but I had been awake for at least an hour reading and puttering around the interwebs.

Was it my baby trying to say hi?  If so, why the mechanical voice of a grown man?  Was it another guide from the above aura photo (yes, that's me, just before I found out I was pregnant) making himself known?  Why no response to queries, divination (using the runes, I kept drawing the blank...not so reassuring), and meditation?  Did one of my dogs try to make me go all Son of Sam?  Doubtful.  Any ideas out there in the blogosphere?  Feel free to chime in with ideas, or go nuts analyzing the photo.  I'm open to both, and hey, maybe the answer lies in there.

As always,
Kristen

A Rush of Wings to the Brain

You close your eyes and hear thundering hooves...a rush of raven wings tickles your cheek and blows your hair...it sounds as though the caws of a murder of crows are calling your name.  You are in the presence of The Morrigan.